So, you’ve logged the miles, forked over the hard-earned registration money and roped your naive family members into being your crew. Congrats on tackling your first ultra! Life is about to get significantly weirder. Here’s what you really need to know:
Your running outfit will be an ongoing experiment
Forget looking cool. You’ll start the race in your best gear, but by the 50K mark, you’ll envy the guy crushing it in a button-up dress shirt and sequined hat. At some point, you may consider removing clothing entirely. Nobody will care.
Your stomach will betray you—publicly
You may be a dignified human in real life, but out here, nothing is sacred. You’ll eat like a feral raccoon and discuss digestion (or the sudden lack of it) with total strangers (and feel no shame). You will learn where every bathroom, tree and semi-private ditch is.
You will lose time in strange ways
Ever spent 10 minutes staring at an aid station table, trying to remember what food is? Welcome to ultra-brain. Making decisions will become a group activity. Let the volunteers boss you around—they’re your only hope.
Crying is inevitable (and normal)
You will cry—possibly for no reason. A nice rock, a well-timed grilled cheese sandwich or the realization that you’ve been power-hiking for an hour in the wrong direction might set you off. Let it happen.
You will want to sign up for another one (immediately)
Despite the suffering, your post-race brain will almost immediately betray you. By the time you remove your shoes (or realize you forgot how), you’ll be Googling your next ultra. It’s a beautiful and ridiculous cycle, and you’re already part of the madness.
